Hello, wise people.. Today's post
isn't about a happening thing in my life, it's just another version of my
previous post's which titled The Loneliness Feeling. What makes this
post different with the previous version? I guess It'll only be on the language
which I put on. But I don't know either, I could add a bit on it too, right?
Because there is one of my best friends, Dicky Kurniawan asked me to make The Loneliness Feeling in
English version. So, here I am making this new version. I bet there won't be a
big different between the two of them. So, wise people.. Here we go . . .
A loneliness… An
emptiness … or any different word that can describe this feeling.. Or should I
said that most of Javanese's teenagers whose living nearby my city are get used
to name it suwung. For some of them who called themselves a
modern people thought and assumed that being lonely is only for
those whose broken hearted or don't even mind to have a boy/girl friend (in
relationship, I mean). Hell to the low, hello?! Being lonely doesn't
need to be on that typical state of mind. You don't need to be brokenhearted
first if you want to feel this horrible feeling. You don't need to get
yourself on serious trouble too. Oh my gosh, please don't!
Though this author right here, also a single girl without any boys
accompany. Haha LOL. Well, stop talking about me, let's go back to my post! A
loneliness feeling is a mixed feelings among confusedness, sadness, stress, and
every suffer which happened to everyone
though somehow the loneliness feeling which happened to every people are
different. This feeling could come in any of the time, we can't predict. It may
happen to our lives when our surrounded are in a crowded situation, but our
heart still feel a damn emptiness. I bet it's like a nightmare in a daylight.
Silence… where no one wants to have a chitchat with you or an emptiness
which coming out of no where. Yea, it sucks! But it happens to me like almost
all the time of my life.
In
a place full of people, I feel like I am being the unknown, the left one, the
freaking stranger.
Though sometimes I got people I know on my
own, but they don't seem to understand even care for me. It's sad, when
I always be there for them (my best one) but where the hell they are? Never
heard a thing from them.. Who only come
to me whenever they need me, only! Never ask how am I doing every single day
I've been through, who always be gone whenever this damn feeling came to me… Am
I asking too much for their caring to me? Till I make them sick at mad at me.
Don’t know, I can't see through their heart. But was I wrong to ask such as
thing? What a best friend's for then? If not to make their own best friend
happy and have this world together in any kind of situation.
Every
time I feel bored and lonely at school, I always wanted to go home as fast as I
could. Cause
I'm hoping if I'm at home I won't be
feeling this terrible situation of loneliness. You know why? Cause I'm tired
and can't stand to this situation anymore…
Home,
a place where I could be me , a place where I could get my own happiness with
my little
family :) Fyi, I don't have any friend with
the same age as mine but a boy next door, Aziz
with his girl cousin, Dimas. My friendship with Aziz has already
happened since we were babies. Both Aziz and Dimas are kind and good to me,
they also kind of make me laugh even when I don't want it to. And because of
some sort of reason we already known for each of our characters.
This loneliness feeling keep on coming to me, 24/7. In some unknown
reason, this feeling also comes to me whenever I have finished my work for
school, have nothing to watch, being left alone at home, and… when I miss some
certain person. Not a special one, indeed.. But this guy could make me smile, laugh,
hate, calm, and cry whenever I told him my sad story. Unfortunately, his not
himself anymore from the moment I met him for the first time. I know he's busy
nowadays… Yea, knowing that he's a chief of MPK this year. But I never
thought that thing could change him real fast. His just… not him anymore…
And
there is another guy, he's no one else but one of my best friends. For me, he's
not just a best
friend. Cause for me, he's like a big
bro… The way he gave me advices of my problems and my attitude which sounds
like a big brother whom I never have. But now he become someone else I don't even
recognize, he's becoming a very cold person… Maybe, that's because he has
already a girl who filled his empty
heart. If truth be told, I don't like his new girlfriend -_- not because I was
jealous over her, but I hate her that she turned my big bro into a cold guy
But
I'll try my best to deal with this loneliness situation no matter what..
And mostly my best way
to deal with this situation are sleeping,
listening to random music on my phone, doing crazy dancing, even crying, and
some stupid things you may think of which can make me smile and forget about
this damn feeling.. THE END
XoXo,
Author
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